Vacation Day 2--Tangled

Tangled Up

 

I awoke early this morning. I spent my time with God in my daily bible reading and in prayer. I was gathering up my various yarns to pack up and take with me on our upcoming journey and realized my beautiful, very fine yarn needed to be rolled into a ball from the loose skein. This is handspun and hand-dyed yarn and so fine it is like a gossamer web. All started out well as I wound the yarn into a ball, but then, somehow, it developed a lovely tangle and became ever more difficult to detangle.

 

As I worked on untangling the yarn without breaking it, I realized that to get it out of its tangle, I would need to do it slowly. I needed to loosen up the big knot and gently follow the yarn through the tangle. Slowly and gently was the way I needed to proceed.

 

Our lives are like this beautiful, colorful, fine yarn. We get in tangles and it looks like there is no way to clear things up without breaking the yarn. If we try to go too quickly through our tangled lives or we just pull and pull it the way we want it to go, our tangled life will never get unstuck. We'll be so tightly wrapped up in ourselves that we will hit a point where we just can't go anywhere or do anything.

 

Thankfully, we have a master craftsman helping us with our lives. If we allow Him to help us and let Him do His work on us slowly and gently, our tangled lives can be smoothed out, put into order, and then knit into something beautiful. It is so tempting to want to grab our lives back and try to go faster or the way we think we should go. We must let go and let God do the untangling. God has promised us, if we turn our lives over to Him, that he will take us and make something beautiful and something good.

Let God Be

Don't you know that God knows your struggle
  and weeps at the pain he reads in your soul?

Don't you know that God, your Father,
  feels the lump in your throat, the racing of your
  heart and the weakness in your limbs
  as you face yourself and the demons
  of life in this world?

Don't you know that He loves you more
  than we could ever love anyone?

God made you,
God knows you from the inside out.
God loves you!!

He knows every single moment of your life
  and every little wrinkle on your face.
God hears the struggle in your soul,
  the panic of your breath,
  the song in your heart,
  the good words on your tongue,
  and the lies in the back of your mind that you
  think no one knows except you.

God wants to hold you close
  and dry your tears.
He wants to hear your breath
  be soft and peaceful like a little child's.
He cherishes the good words on your tongue
  like honey from the honeycomb.
He wants to wipe out the bitter lies
  in the back of your mind--
  both yours and Satan's.

God has been, is, and always will be
  your very best friend, your Father
  and the keeper of your soul.

All you have to do is let His spirit
  heal your heart, comfort your mind
  and bring peace to your soul.

All you have to do is be still and
  let God be...God.

D. Elaine Wood-Lane
4/29/99

Knit. Pray. Love.

It has been quite the summer this year for all of us. There have been droughts, fires, flooding, hailstorms, tornados and hurricanes. That's just the natural phenomenons and doesn't even touch the many other things going on in our world. There also have been shootings, terrorism, a poor economy and enough political posturing to make me gag. (I'm not big on politics. Just give me your true qualifications for the job, your platform, and let me vote in privacy and peace.) Then there have been the good things like vacations, holidays, visits to and from my kids. I've gone to the zoo, kissed an orangatun, driven through beautiful Guanella Pass here in Colorado, and watched my husband transform our house into something beautiful and light with his hard work and clever ideas.

Throughout the summer I've dealt with more physical pain and frustration. Fibromyalgia is a trying affliction that weakens my body, my mind and even, at times, my spirit. I can't do all the things I used to do easily. Vacuuming the house and other household chores requires a full day of recovery. (Hence my schedule of usually doing those things on Saturday morning.) I do work I truly enjoy at Bold Technologies for 6 hours a day and then come home, collapse in my chair, and often proceed to fall asleep. For a woman who was accustomed to being the go-to girl who could be continually on the go for 14 hours a day, well, my current physical limitations are frustrating and depressing. I liked being the woman who could jump in and help others any time, any where, any way. I liked being busy, feeling strong, and feeling useful.

At the beginning of spring I began praying and asking God outright what He would have me do to serve Him now. I felt like I was failing at doing anything for Him and that I truly didn't have anything left to offer Him. I kept thinking of all the things I couldn't do any longer. I always had visions in my head of going to the mission field or working at a homeless shelter or becoming a hospital chaplin. I had dreamed big and now felt I was just a useless, dried up old lady who couldn't do anything much for God. I had quite the pity party going on, I can tell you. It wasn't pretty! Not pretty at all! (Pity parties never are.)

One morning during my prayers I received a simple three word answer from God: "Knit, pray, love." Humph! "Well! Isn't that just peachy?" It sounded too close to the book and movie title, "Eat Pray Love" for me to really accept it as a directive from God. Obviously those words weren't from God, but were from my own muddled mind. Besides all that, these were things I already did. I mean, have you seen my yarn stash lately? This is only about a fourth of the yarn I have hidden all over the house.

 

 I've always prayed and I've always tried to love others actively. God persisted and insisted, however. Every day I receive the same instructions, "Knit, pray, love." When God wants to get a point across, there is no hiding from Him! I finally decided to do what He said to do. I decided to follow my instincts and just knit whatever struck my fancy to knit. I decided to open myself up to praying more for others and situations as they arose. I decided to concentrate on loving others, encouraging them, hugging them and praying for them. I decided to quit focusing on myself and to focus instead on others. I had no idea where all this would go, but if God said, "Knit, pray, love," I was going to try to do His will.

 

I started knitting more and even bought more yarn. Good grief what was I thinking?! Like I needed more yarn? I already had plenty of yarn. Every morning I continued to read my bible and started going outside in my back yard for focused prayer. I made a concentrated effort to be more loving. If I found myself getting aggravated with people, I would make myself stop and think of the situation from their side and then love them from my heart instead of being so selfish and self-centered. I noticed that on the days I started the day with knitting and prayer, I didn't notice my pain as much. Also, if I'm hugging and loving someone else, I forget my pain and feel infused with a loving warmth from the inside out.

 

An interesting thing started happening. As I took up my three word directive from God, I found more things to knit, but didn't know where they were going to end up. Opportunities to pray for people and situations started coming at me so fast, I had to start taking notes so I could pray with more focus and not forget anyone. I also started noticing that there are a lot of people who need a moment of love and encouragement. I've ended up hugging more people this summer than you'd ever believe. I've hugged the stuffing out of coworkers, Alan, my kids, and friends. Several times it has been complete strangers when I'm out and about. I remember especiallly an elderly lady at Walmart who couldn't reach the sodas on the shelf and who was almost beside herself with grief over something. I'm short too, but was able to get her the sodas she needed. Then I found myself spontaneously hugging her and she started talking and crying. We stood there for 10 minutes probably, hugging and talking.

 

All the time I was knitting, praying, and loving, I kept thinking, "Where is my knitting to go? Where do You want me to serve in this?" I continued to picture giving hats and scarves to the homeless, but had no idea where to find the avenue for this. The other day, God gave me the answer. I get an e-newsletter every day from Lion Brand Yarns. Recenly the newsletter focus was on charities. You typed in your zip code and the site listed charities nearby (within 15 miles) looking for donated knitted or crocheted items. I typed in 80909. I had done this before, last year, and nothing came up. This time, a list popped up with about 10 places! As I scanned the list, I saw that the Salvation Army not only requested knitted/crocheted scarves, hats, shawls, and small lap afghans, but was pleading for them. And guess where the Salvation Army is? About a mile south of us on the same street we live! One mile away on Yuma Street. Hallelujah!  Makes me smile all over to think about it. One mile away...

 

Guess what I'll be doing in the weeks and months ahead?  I'll being knitting, praying and loving. When God asks you to do something and you think it is a small thing and not what we had in mind...do it anyway. God has a plan. We won't know all the details. All we can do is step out in faith and do as He asks. He knows all the details and that is all that matters.  He's a pretty sharp guy.  :-)